The Blame Game...

Misconceptions

All homeless people are people of color. Homeless people come in all colors... I have an equal amount of white clients as I do of color...

Most homeless people are single men. Actually, women make up the world's poorest population. In San Francisco however, I do mostly deal with males, and most of those men are single.

All homeless people are drug addicts & alcoholics, and that's how they got to be homeless. Last week on the street, I picked up a flyer for a documentary on homelessness in San Francisco whose slogan was, "If you don't have mental issues before you become homeless, you will get them when you become homeless."

The majority of my clientele are people who have turned to alcohol or drugs as a result of their homelessness. In a cold winter's night, with no money, and with physical and mental pain, the only way to get some peace of mind is often through a joint, or a beer.

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It's simple for everyone to blame everyone else. It is easy for the privileged to point fingers at the unprivileged for becoming that way. It's THEIR fault. THEY did drugs, THEY are responsible for getting this way. Whatever makes us feel better about giving less. Whatever makes us feel more secure. "If we follow the right steps and make the right decisions, we will not get that way"...

For the underpriveldged, it's easier to put the blame on society's barriers and on the upperclass. "Take your money to the grave with you..." a man at Subway yelled at me today when no one would give him money for a sandwich. Many of them claim they were robbed, or taken advantage of, or cheated by the government...

Taking responsibility or just accepting something is beyond your control is much more difficult than just blaming someone else. It is easy for us to blame each other for our fortune and misfortune. Who's controlling this blame game? I'd say it's fear. Fear to accept that some things are really out of our control, and that goes for both sides. There is not always a path to success or security- making right choices does not always lead to safety, and it is a scary thing to realize.

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Homelessness, while it has been the result of poor choices for some, has occurred by chance for many, many people. MOST of my clients were destined down the path of homelessness since childhood- either through abusive and unstable familial relationships, or through early traumatic experiences leading to a life of extreme mental disability. MOST of my clients are trying to get help- trying to get an education, constantly looking for resources, trying to get into treatment. MOST of my clients have serious goals and dreams that may seem absurd to you, like being 45 years old & homeless, yet insisting that you WILL be a doctor someday. Their dreams and faith keep them in treatment and keep them working toward a better life, whether or not they ever achieve that M.D.

I had a client who's mother was addicted to cocaine during her pregnancy with him. He was BORN an addict- went through the foster care system to be placed with adoptive parents who literally tortured him for his entire life... forcing him to sleep on the garage floor for years, given dog food for meals, and his feet were placed in pots of boiling water causing 3rd degree burns...

this boy, now a man, never had a chance of living a normal life.

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I challenge all of you reading this, that next time you see a homeless person on the street, do not look away. Be just and acknowledge his presence by looking at him. Don't brush him off and assume he's just a dirty drunk who made some bad choices--- he probably has an incredibly painful story, and he may even have a college degree, to your surprise. Recognize your privilege, but also, acknowledge the presence of a common thread of humanity that resides in both of you...

The homeless come in all shapes, sizes, and colors... homelessness is caused by a variety of reasons, not just the ones you believe...

let's start breaking down these stereotypes that plague us all and only prevent homelessness from being addressed seriously.